I'm tired.
I've been buried underneath so much bullshit at times it's difficult to see the light. I don't want to be that person who uses their blog to complain but I feel like a Pollyanna always looking for the bright side of things and after a while it's just forced and fake.
I want to start moving in one direction, not stopping until I'm free; until my heart tells me it's time.
But where do I go?
Where can I go...
When did it turn into something so ugly?
For many years I have been witness to something twisted and rotten.
A sickness that smeared it's black mark on every corner of my life.
But I always tried to find a way to balance this misbehaviour with the return of beauty and kindness.
I truly believed that if I looked beyond the bad, and focused solely on the good then I would be happy.
I also believed in Santa Claus.
I'm starting to think that I have become, quite accidentally, a cynic.
That makes me unhappy because that isn't who I am.
But I've been force-fed so many lies thru the years. The worst are the ones that come at you with a smile.
I'm not in chains and if I have felt imprisoned over the years I can't blame anyone but myself.
And I can do something about it.
Enough is enough.
I'm tired. And I'm getting old.
It's time to make good on a promise to myself.
To be free.
To smile everyday and surround myself with others who are as flawed as I am.
Who don't ask for perfection nor force it upon others.
Who are kind and funny and serve to add richness and depth to my life.
And in return I will do the same.
Naturally, and simply.
